Refusing to Wilt
by The Inbetweener
Summary: When Lucius does the unthinkable and joins the Death Eaters, Narcissa is furious. She refuses to wilt, however, and sticks by the man that she loves, no matter what the cost. Narcissa/Lucius OneShot.


A/N: So this is actually my first and only attempt at a Narcissa/Lucius fic. I wrote it a while ago and it didn't recieve much attention on the other site I've posted it at. But since many people here seem to like my one shots a lot, I decided to post it here anyway and hope that you recieve it more warmly. Hope that you like it! and your reviews are always much appreciated! Thanks for reading guys!

-Bee

* * *

><p>She remembered the night clearly. She had never been so proud of him, never had she been so honored in her life. He stood tall and smiling, in his dashing black robes and starlit enchanted cloak, his blonde almost-silver hair cascading down just below his shoulder blades. His back was straight and tense with excitement and pride. His crystalline blue eyes, that always had a slight glow to them never shone brighter than that night. He looked magical, simply magical, and her heart couldn't have swelled in her chest more than it had. It was the grandest night that Narcissa Black had ever witnessed and the very last. That night, her wedding night, she was no longer beautiful young Narcissa Black; she became more, so much more than that. She became a wife, she became a woman, she became Narcissa Malfoy.<p>

She didn't know when he had enchanted her so. It could have been when her father introduced the young pair in hopes that their families would one day be one in the same. It could have been the first sneer that she gave him, though in her opinion there had never been a more handsome or honorable pureblood young man. It could have been the numerous petty and passionate fights that she loved to spark, or maybe it had been the spark she had seen in his eyes that started this fire in her. Her happiness almost burned her skin, it was tangible and white hot as she walked slowly down the aisle toward her future husband. He stood under the starlit sky by the alter of vivid white apple blossoms, a symbol of purity in preference. She smiled as she recalled planning the floral decorations for the single most wonderful day of her life.

Narcissa had a love for flowers and each flower at her wedding symbolized something she held deep in her heart, each perfect flower that she had grown herself was pure and white, each with its own meaning and importance. White flowers in general meant purity and innocence, secrecy and intimacy, worthiness and reverence. All of which found significance in Narcissa's ideas of her upcoming marriage. The white apple blossoms high above Lucius meant purity in Narcissa's preference and her good fortune. The white orchids tumbling from the air above Narcissa to the floor beneath her feet meant love, refinement, and elegance, all of which Narcissa had strived to attain. The white roses that she and Lucius would exchange once the ceremony was at its close meant eternal love and caring. Narcissa smiled as she thought of the last, most personal flower choice. She hadn't even told her mother about the flowers she had sent to her honeymoon suite or what they had meant.

In a small, cozy, elegant cabin, on the high slopes of the Swiss Alps, white lilies laid peacefully all around a tiny bedroom lit by firelight. Narcissa kept smiling as she inched closer to her new future, thinking about the lilies that would greet her and Lucius once the marriage ceremony was over. The delicate flowers meant majesty and pure virginity. Unlike many girls her age, Narcissa was proud of her virginal status. She was more pure than the magic that ran through her veins. She was untainted and proud to have saved herself for the only man she loved, the man she was about to marry. To her and her family, purity was everything and she took the role of a pureblood seriously. She sneered at all the half-blood and muggleborn Trollops who walked around in the wizarding world calling themselves witches. She cursed at the blood traitors who accepted and even welcomed the sullied and unworthy mudbloods. They were mudbloods for a reason. They were dirty, had the impure blood of muggles flowing through their hearts, held unwashed sins in their hands.

Narcissa Black was better than that, better than their impurities, and so was Lucius Malfoy. The arrangement had worked perfectly, and though it was an arranged marriage, it was no less perfect, or sincere. Soon after their marriage, Lucius received a job offer at the ministry in the Department of International Cooperation and the couple couldn't have been happier. For the next few years, things went smoothly for the pair but it didn't last too long. Lucius became restless with his job. He wanted more. He needed more and Narcissa couldn't help but feel anxious about his sudden change. The rising power of the Dark Lord was an enticing opportunity for her husband but she feared it would end badly and she would be left carrying the child of a man who was long gone.

With her cousin Regulus gone and a new born baby only 7 months away, Narcissa vehemently argued with Lucius about joining the Death Eaters. The Dark Lord had the right idea, but if it meant putting her beloved husband at risk then she wanted no part in it. She never said it out loud, but his practice was dangerous and she didn't agree with it at all. Still, arguing with Lucius was like arguing with a brick wall; he never budged and he always won out in the end. Now, sitting in her private library soaking in the news, Narcissa realized she had been foolish to ever think she had a sway in Lucius's decision. As she remembered their past together she realized that while she loved her husband and he loved her, she had no say over him and he had always done what he pleased.

"Cissa, say something…" Lucius begged her. He was kneeling down in front of her armchair with his left forearm bared for her to see. The hideous mark branded his pale and formerly perfect skin. It twisted and snarled in her face and Narcissa couldn't rip her eyes from it, though she desperately wanted to. It was proof that the Dark Lord owned her husband. Lucius was no longer hers and it infuriated her.

"Bellatrix put you up to this… I-I…I'm going to kill her…"

"Yes, Bella has been trying to convince me to join the cause. But it was my own choice, Cissa. I want this. I need this. I wish you would understand that—"

"Understand?" she started miserably quiet, "Understand! I understand perfectly Lucius! I understand that your good job isn't enough, your standing at the Ministry isn't enough, your home life isn't enough, I'm not enough! Your… Your child isn't enough for you to listen to reason. You knew that I didn't want this for you, or for our child. And even though it's barely showing, soon we're going to have a child to raise and care for. Do you really think you can raise a child if your life will be in jeopardy everyday?" Narcissa was in tears as she ranted to her husband. There just had to be a way to make him see, to make him comprehend how horrible their lives could turn out. Lucius stood and pulled Narcissa from the chair and into his arms. He rocked her gently as she cried, sullying her makeup and his dark cloak. They stayed like that until Narcissa could breath evenly again. She sniffled and wiped her eyes on Lucius's shoulder, trying to gain her composure.

"What kind of life is that, Lucius?" She whispered into the folds of his cloak. "What kind of life is sitting and waiting, hoping that your husband will return safely? Hoping that your child will still have a father? Tell me. What kind of life do you think that is? Tell me!" Lucius stepped back bewildered and speechless. Narcissa had never talked to him like that, never once. She was rather docile when on her good side and Lucius had almost forgotten how easily angered she was. But no matter how angry Narcissa had been with him, she never spoke to him with such fury and disdain. It cut him down to size, but he had cut her too, he supposed.

"That's right, you can't. Because it is no life, it's an existence. A despicable existence, an empty space to forever be a void in what could have been our life! You've gone too far, Lucius. Too far to be forgiven." She screamed and he took another step back. Her eyes had darkened to a deep stormy blue and were narrowed to slits. Her mouth was twisted into a hard glower.

"Cissa, please, calm down." Lucius tried again.

"Don't you 'Cissa' me. I won't calm down, not when you did what you did. I don't… I don't even know you anymore! You're not my husband, certainly not my Lucius. As far as I'm concerned I'm a widow. My husband died a while ago. It's Mrs. Malfoy to you," Narcissa snarled before turning and storming out of the room. Lucius sighed and slumped down in the armchair Narcissa had occupied before the fight. It wasn't even a fight, Lucius thought to himself. It was a slaughter. Narcissa had cut him deep and slashed furiously where she knew it would hurt. He knew how much she dislike the idea of him being a Death Eater, but he thought that she could eventually see it his way. He never thought she would react so strongly against it. What hurt the most was that he underestimated her reaction and now she despised him. He didn't think he could live if Narcissa forever hated him. He would win her over, he swore to himself, if it took his life he would die trying to make the woman he loved happy again.

It took a few days before Lucius could approach Narcissa again. Every time he walked into a room she was in, she would storm out, mumbling angrily under her breath. The first night he tried to go to bed and she slammed the door to their bedroom in his face and screamed bloody murder until he resigned to the guest room on the other side of the manor. She simply would not give him the time of day. She spent most of her time out in her Giardino di Bianco, her Garden of White, and Lucius couldn't for all the world take a step in the place. There were strong enchantments on the garden that allowed only Narcissa in unless there was an emergency. Still, he watched her from their bedroom balcony as she sat on a bench in miserable silence. It pained him, but he gave her the space she needed and decided to let her come to him.

He was having dinner one evening, almost a week after his confession, when Narcissa strolled in and took her seat beside him. She opened her mouth once, closed it and glowered. She repeated the action and Lucius couldn't help but feel his heart swell.

"Don't say anything," he suggested, "I'm just glad you're here." She looked down at the plate of lobster that appeared before her and a small smile appeared on her lips. They ate in silence, him hoping that she would say something and her looking for the words to say. After their meal Lucius held out his arm for Narcissa to take but she stood and walked out without a word to say. His heart sunk and his smile faded into a frown. He followed Narcissa to the drawing room where she had curled herself into her favorite armchair with a novel. It always stunned Lucius how simply beautiful she looked when she snuggled into the armchair to read. The bun that she normally wore was let down so that her hair cascaded down her shoulders. Her eyes were focused and her brow furrowed in concentration. And she had this odd little habit of biting the right side of her bottom lip when she was reading something particularly exciting or dramatic.

"I'm sorry that I upset you, you know," Lucius startled Narcissa out of her trance. She gave him a hard glare and then sighed dejectedly, rubbing her temples gently with her fingers.

"But you're not sorry for joining him. I know you, Lucius. Don't try to play word games with me."

"You're right. I'm not sorry for joining the Dark Lord," Lucius admitted openly as he made his way toward her. He sat gracefully in front of Narcissa on the floor and looked up at her with docile eyes. "But I am sorry that it hurts you."

Narcissa glared at him for a moment but then her eyes softened.

"I know." She held out her hand for his and he gently intertwined his fingers with hers. "I wish that I could support you. I just…can't." They stayed there in silence after Narcissa spoke, both absorbed in their own thoughts. And then with a slight gasp Lucius tightened his hold on Narcissa's hand until tears welled up in her eyes from pain. Narcissa didn't speak, didn't make a sound as Lucius unconsciously crushed her hand. She had seen that pain before in Regulus and it pained her now like it pained her then to see someone she loves suffer. There was a slight pop in the hall outside and with a bang of the door Bellatrix in all her dark beauty swaggered in. She laughed at the small scene before her and then clicked her tongue in disappointment.

"Better get used to it dear brother. The pain never lessens. It only becomes part of you," she smiled sweetly and then held out her hand to Lucius. "The Dark Lord hates it when his Death Eaters make him wait. We better go now." Lucius let go of Narcissa's hand and tried to smile apologetically, though he made more of a grimace than anything. Narcissa didn't say a word as she watched Lucius hurriedly walk out of the room to avoid the anti-apparation wards on the library. Her sister, however, strolled lazily among the books smiling to herself and taunting Narcissa to speak. Narcissa refused the bait and Bellatrix sighed impatiently.

"What? No water works or angry words? Or did you forget that it was my handy work that made Lucius become a Death Eater?" Bellatrix teased.

"I have nothing to say to you. Why would I, dear sister? Lucius is free to do what he pleases and I'm happy that he's happy." She lied easily. Narcissa knew her sister, learned from her and saw her for what she was. Bellatrix was trying to incriminate Narcissa in the Dark Lord's eyes and Narcissa was too smart to give her any ammunition. Bellatrix cracked a large grin and laughed.

"I taught you too well, Cissy, too well for my own good," Bellatrix said as she closed the door behind her. Narcissa waited a few moments until she heard a loud pop and then picked up a glass vase filled with cosmos and heather, peace and solitude. She hurled it across the room with a scream of frustration and closed her eyes as the grimly satisfying shatter reached her ears. With a huff, she called a house elf to clean her mess and walked determinedly out of the library. She would not let Bellatrix Black get the better of her. There was no changing what Lucius did but that didn't mean she couldn't use it to her advantage. No one was going to make Narcissa wilt like a dead flower. She was a Malfoy now and she was the wife of a Death Eater.


End file.
